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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Watching Baseball with My Daughter Between Viagra Ads...

Golden arm and locks... 
This has been a banner week at the Espinosa household.  Win or lose on Thursday, the Mets made the playoffs for the first time since 2006 and my family, with the exception of my independent thinking 11-year-old middle daughter, who likes the home team, has jumped on the Mets' bandwagon.  And, I am reveling in it.

This has been a calculated and longstanding effort on my part. In fact, it started when my oldest daughter was still in my wife's belly.  I used to recite the Mets lineup (back then) to her almost every night.  I figured if other parents play Beethoven to their unborn children, I can recite the Amazin's starting lineup; maybe that's why she's always done so well in school!

It continued through the years with the arrival of our second daughter and son; Mets baseball talk around the house, even when nobody seemed to care, games playing on TV, spring training visits, hats, shirts, autographed photos and baseballs, etc.

Slowly but surely, it began paying off.  Today, my 14-year-old daughter is wearing Mets' gear to Spirit Week at school and has a developed a crush on rookie pitcher, Steven Matz, which I don't discourage, since what are the chances she's actually going to meet the guy before she outgrows the crush?  Meanwhile, my son is a huge Matt Harvey fan.  Not that he doesn't like Yoenis Cespedes, David Wright, Curtis Granderson, Jeurys Familia and Noah Syndegaard any less.

In any case, last Friday night was a special night.  For the first time, since before my son was born, the Mets were in a playoff game.  We ordered pizza.  My wife and I had wine (I know, metrosexual of me, but my wife has me trying to cut down on beer; meaning the beer belly!). And, we huddled around the TV to watch the start of the game.  However, the West Coast start (9:30p EST) discouraged my wife and the little ones to stick around.  After having dinner and watching the first few innings, they bolted for their rooms.

But, my teenage daughter stayed up with me.  Ah, the good life.  Me and my girl just sitting on the couch watching Mets ace, Jacob deGrom, and his long locks of hair, face off against three-time National League Cy Young winner and 2014 NL Most Valuable Player, Clayton Kershaw, with a glass of wine (me) and having Chocolate Mint ice cream (Don't tell my wife).  Life couldn't get any better.

That is until I started noticing a disturbing trend.

Every time there was a commercial break, a beautiful woman in a football jersey came on talking about Viagra and erectile dysfunction, opening a ceiling-to-floor length curtain, with all sorts of subliminal meaning, and an announcer telling viewers to ask their doctor if their heart is healthy enough for sex.

I was aghast!  I started changing the channel every time I saw the Viagra woman with the football in her hand but it got ridiculous.  When it wasn't Viagra, it was Cialis, another erectile dysfunction drug.

It came to a point, where it was obvious I was turning the channel and, as the night dragged on, and I started getting sleepy (and my reactions got slower to change the remote), we got a good dose of masculine impotence issues.  It was embarrassing.  My poor girl!

Apparently, I wasn't the only one complaining.  St. Louis Cardinals pitcher, Adam Wainwright (Yes, the same Adam Wainwright who struck out Carlos Delgado and Carlos Beltran with the their bats on their shoulders and the winning run on base the last time the Mets made the playoffs), tweeted:


What have we come to as a culture?  In the old days, it was beer and cars they would target at men. Now, it's about keeping an erection?  On a nationally televised game with millions of boys, staying up with their dads to watch, especially in the West Coast, where the game was three hours earlier?

Here I am trying to promote chastity to my kids.  I send them to Catholic school to reinforce the message and the culture undermines it at every turn, by selling sex, even in the most wholesome of sports; America's game!  I was upset.

I realized most kids may have gone to bed in the East Coast but I'm sure many were watching, including my daughter.

As a matter of fact, at one point, when the Mets loaded the bases and David Wright was coming up to hit, I dozed off (Don't judge me.  I wake up early!) and must have snored because my daughter asked, "Are you awake?"  I said, "No," and just as my vision cleared from my slumber, Wright hit a line drive up the middle, driving in two runs.  Thank you, for waking me up!

At the end of the night, the Mets won 3 to 1, my daughter and I gave each other a high five and went to bed, having spent a great night of bonding watching our favorite team, me having a glass of wine (or two) and watching a plethora of Viagra commercials.

On a positive note, I guess, after a night full of erectile dysfunction ads, she shouldn't be getting any funky thoughts of mom and dad in the bedroom...

 

  

2 comments:

Robert M said...

Yes, my daughters of similar ages as yours notice those Viagra commercials and find them humorous even if they don't have a full, adult understanding of the topic. At least it's triggered a few general conversations about sex.

BTW, I like how your middle daughter thinks! Anyway...good luck against the Cubs.

Carlos Espinosa said...

I'm glad you've had the courage to address the topic with your daughter. Great job! I've very cowardly tried to avoid it.

As for my middle daughter, I think she'll come around. I just have to work on her a little more!

Thanks and God bless...