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Friday, December 16, 2011

Being Single During Christmas Can Give Anyone the Blues...

One recent morning, a co-worker was celebrating her 10th wedding anniversary and a discussion broke out in our newsroom about marriage.

The conversation included three single ladies, my married friend (female) and me (the sole male representing!).

The married friend said that despite the bad rap sometimes, marriage was a wonderful thing.

I chimed in that marriage gives you freedom. Freedom? What are you talk’n about Willis?

It’s funny, most people in the “unmarried and loving it” crowd picture marriage as too restricting and constricting on individual freedoms. But, it’s actually the opposite.

At least in my case, marriage gives me freedom. Freedom to love like God loves, to get outside of myself and focus on my wife (which, for me, is a work in progress), to share an intimacy and oneness that can’t be humanly duplicated with anyone else, except with my wife, and, as an added bonus, the freedom to do things that I couldn't possibly be able to if it wasn't for her (i.e., paying the bills so that I can blog!). Marriage is, in fact, liberating.

Besides, I started remembering that this time of the year can really suck when you are single!

I mean, I recall the sense of loneliness I felt during the Christmas Season during my single days; not having a girlfriend to share with and buy gifts for, no one to get a gift from (except my brother and parents), and no one to invite to the company Christmas Party (although at my workplace they give us a day off instead) or to the family reunion.

Meanwhile, every other TV commercial shows happy couples and families opening their gifts under a Christmas tree or getting a Lexus wrapped in a red ribbon (this is a more recent commercial, but you get my point).

I remember the many nights of going out during the holiday season. All the stores were full of people, trying to find that perfect gift for their loved ones, the streets elaborately decorated with lights, if lucky, chilly weather in the air, Christmas carols on the radio, holiday cheer abound, and me trying to get hooked up at a bar and thinking, this really sucks!

Let’s face it, It’s a Wonderful Life is not as wonderful if you have no one to cuddle with. It’s not the same to watch it in the family room with your parents.

One year, I went to three random Christmas parties with different dates.  I can't recall one by name. How sad.

I can see how people have the Christmas blues, especially when the true meaning of Christmas is missing or lost, as it was for me during my single days.

Ironically, a Pew Research study published this week indicates that more Americans are waiting longer to get married for the first time.

Unfortunately, they don’t know what they’re missing. Then again, maybe they do during this time of the year...

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